Erin – Page 9

Moving to Georgia from Ireland was a huge change for us. Within a few months, however, we really did fall in love with our new home. The sun was usually shining which meant we were outside more, new friendships started to form, and the charm of the South began to reel us in. However, there was always one lingering fear that was often mentioned — summer. ‘You just wait!’ people would say. ‘July and August are killer … the humidity … the bugs … did you know we have FLYING COCKROACHES?!?’ And so, while we continued to enjoy the mild winter and spring, we awaited the summer months with much anticipation.

June came … then July … and here we are, nearing towards the end of August.

And you know what? We still love it:)

I sometimes think people like to scare you a little. Yes, there are cockroaches here, but I’ve only actually seen a few (and they are usually already dead). Yes, it’s crazy hot, but thank goodness we live in the 21st century where the air con is constantly blasting. And yes, you sweat — a LOT — but, luckily for me, I’m usually in a sports bra and work out clothes anyway so it’s all good. The kids have been troopers and honestly, I don’t think they’ve ever complained about the heat! They just get on with it. Granted, I don’t take them to the park at 4 pm — I stick them out back with a popsicle and a big bucket of water to wash their sticky hands in when they’re done:)

I’ve sort of fallen off of the blogging wagon this summer. Even though my kids aren’t in school yet, fall still seems to bring a new sense of routine and productivity so hopefully I’ll be posting more often. I’ve missed writing down thoughts or sharing a new recipe (I have a few good ones! Coming soon). I’ve also not been very good at taking pictures with my ‘real camera’ — and those are usually the ones I actually get printed or post on here. So — my goal for this upcoming fall / holiday season is to get back to it!

Here are a few things we’ve been up to:)

I’m still on a painting kick after our kitchen project, much to my husband’s dismay;) To be fair — I did our front dining room all by myself! And it was previously dark red so it needed three coats. I was quite proud of myself. Maybe I’ll do a bigger post in the future about transforming this space when we finish putting the room together. We’ve decided that in this current phase of life with little ones, it’s kind of pointless to have a fancy shmancy dining room that will more than likely never be used. So, I’m calling this the music / art / creativity / future homeschooling perhaps (?!) room:) I love having a desk space and with the white color it’s always nice and bright in this room.

MY MOM SURPRISED ME!!!

Yep, I literally woke up one morning and found her in the guest bedroom. She has done this before so I shouldn’t have been so shocked! We enjoyed morning coffee on the front porch, chatting, and just simply being together. I was able to do little things like go to the grocery store by myself or pop into my coffee spot with a book … bliss. How do moms know just when you need them? My kids were also so happy to have a surprise week with Grandma:)

What else? We went on our first boat ride in the South:)

Our friends invited us out for a half day trip to a little beach on Williamson Island and we all had a blast. Méabh couldn’t stop smiling:) It’s definitely a different kind of beauty here — I’ll admit, sometimes I really do miss the Southern California beaches with their big crashing waves and cool surfer vibe. But the marshes have their own distinct charm and the quiet island beach was perfect for the kiddos.

I’m pretty sure Niall was struggling with Eamon in the back of the boat while I enjoyed this view on our way to the beach:D I could have sat there forever (don’t worry, he got his turn up front on the way back:)

Summer has been full of all the little things too — lazy mornings, pool dates with friends, afternoon thunderstorms (I love these), trips to the park, and weekend bbq’s. The kids keep us laughing and are great at making sure we are never too relaxed;)

Summer, despite the not-so-great rap you usually get, I’m happy to say that so far — you’ve been a good one:)

Isn’t that a beautiful photo? Well to be honest, I think all old fashioned photographs look beautiful:) That’s my late Grandma Rachel. She had eight miscarriages before she adopted my dad and my aunt. She was a woman of grace and style and sweetness. I often think of her as I go through my own miscarriage journey. To be completely honest, a little over a year ago, I never would have thought I’d be here, in this position, with this heartache.

It started a little over a week ago — the same way it always does — and I knew. I just knew. I wasn’t in shock, I didn’t break down in tears (immediately anyway), I didn’t rush to call my midwife. I just let out a sigh. I said a little prayer. I called my husband at work and told him, we’re losing it again. Of course — the tears came then, because saying it out loud always hurts.

I’ve had four miscarriages in a time span of 13 months and each one continues to teach me something different. I’m not writing this post from a place of ‘please feel sorry for me’ or anything like that; honestly, sometimes writing about my loss and processing the change that has taken place in me because of it helps me realize that somewhere deep within my broken heart, there is healing happening too. It is not the kind of healing that our world sees as good or progressive. It is one that has brought me to my knees and taught me about brokenness, about a hope beyond my sorrow, and opened my eyes — especially in the moment when the loss first manifests itself — to what really matters in this life.

My ways are not His ways. I have learned that my plans don’t always pan out. I have learned to take each day as it comes rather than planning too much into the future.

I’m not in control. In some ways, this can be freeing, but it can be really frustrating too. I’m still navigating this one, and trying to find a healthy balance between taking action and trusting in the process.

I’m not very patient. I wanted a baby — like, yesterday. Sometimes it kills me to see how big my little boy is getting without wondering about the babies that could have been looking up to him had I not miscarried. It’s so hard to trust in God’s timing. But I’m trying.

I’ve learned to be grateful. Again, this is a mindset I have to work on every single day. I have so, so much. I have two healthy children. I have a husband who I adore. I realize that some women have travelled this road with no children to come home to after a disappointing appointment; no children to kiss or hold as they recover from a loss. I think of my Grandma Rachel.

Everyone is fighting a battle. God has placed some very special women in my life who have helped me through those really tough days. Women who have dealt with hardships I can’t even imagine and come out the other side stronger, willing to share their story, crying with me and wanting to give comfort. Pregnancy loss has made me far more sensitive, less judgmental, and more empathetic.

Life is precious. I know I know, it sounds cliché:) But it’s more true to me now than ever before. Life is a beautiful, fragile, precious thing. I now look at my children as walking miracles — how crazy that my body was able to create a HUMAN BEING?!? (ok, with some help from God;) We take pregnancy for granted when everything goes right. I can honestly say I don’t think I’ll ever take it for granted again.

I could go on and on. But I can hear Eamon, awake from his nap, and Méabh is currently at my ankles wanting some attention:) That’s another thing I’ve learned … life goes on.

Showing all posts by Erin

summer lovin’

what miscarriage has taught me.